Does dating or living with someone during a Pennsylvania divorce affect alimony or support?

Last updated October 25, 2026.

It depends on which payment is involved and on timing. Pennsylvania's cohabitation bar applies to alimony after the divorce: as written, 23 Pa.C.S. 3706 bars alimony to a petitioner who, after the divorce, has entered into cohabitation with a person of the opposite sex who is not a family member. For alimony, marital misconduct during the marriage is a factor, but conduct after the date of final separation is not considered, except abuse (3701(b)(14)); spousal support and alimony pendente lite (APL) are set by the statewide guidelines, which list "other household income" as a reason the amount may be adjusted (Pa.R.C.P. 1910.16-5(b)(3)).

Property division is made without regard to marital misconduct (3502(a)), though spending marital money on a new partner can raise a separate issue. The difference between the three payments is explained in spousal support, APL or alimony.

How does each payment treat a new relationship?

How does the question come up in a Delaware County case, step by step?

1. Separation. The date of final separation is the dividing line for alimony misconduct (3701(b)(14)) and ends the "duration of the marriage" used for spousal support and APL (Pa.R.C.P. 1910.16-1(c)(2)). Separation means cessation of cohabitation, even in the same house (23 Pa.C.S. 3103).
2. Support or APL. Spousal support starts at Domestic Relations in the Curran Building; APL, once a divorce is filed, goes through the Office of Judicial Support to Domestic Relations under Local Rule 1920.31(f). At a spousal support conference, or at the hearing the local rule sets for an APL application, incomes are calculated and either side may ask for a deviation; see what happens at a support conference in Delaware County.
3. A change later. If circumstances change while an order is in place, either spouse may petition to modify it by stating the material and substantial change relied on (Pa.R.C.P. 1910.19(a)).
4. The alimony claim. Alimony is raised in the divorce and, under the county handbook, addressed by the divorce hearing officer at the equitable distribution hearing; see what happens at a contested property division hearing in Delaware County.
5. After the decree. A court-ordered award can be modified, suspended or terminated on a substantial and continuing change, but only for payments that come due after the petition (3701(e)). Cohabitation under 3706 or remarriage can then be raised.

Why does the date of separation matter so much here?

For alimony, the statute draws a clear line. The court considers "the marital misconduct of either of the parties during the marriage," but "the marital misconduct of either of the parties from the date of final separation shall not be considered," except that the court shall consider abuse of one party by the other, as abuse is defined in 23 Pa.C.S. 6102 (3701(b)(14)). A relationship that began before the final separation may therefore be raised as a factor; one that began after it, as the statute is written, is not considered as misconduct for alimony.

That makes the separation date worth pinning down early, with records, if a new relationship is part of the story. How the date is proved and disputed is covered in why the date of separation matters. Adultery is also one of the fault grounds for divorce (3301(a)(2)), but the no-fault grounds in 3301(c) and (d) do not require proving fault; see what if my spouse will not consent.

What do the rules say about spousal support and APL?

Spousal support and APL are calculated under the support guidelines from the parties' combined monthly net income (Pa.R.C.P. 1910.16-1(a)(1) and (b)). The worksheet, with numbers, is in how spousal support or APL is calculated. There is a rebuttable presumption that the guideline amount is correct; it is rebutted only if the trier-of-fact finds in writing or on the record that the amount is unjust or inappropriate (1910.16-1(d)). The two cannot be in effect at the same time (1910.16-1(c)(1)).

The guideline rules do not mention dating, a boyfriend or girlfriend, or cohabitation by name. What they do list are deviation factors the trier-of-fact must consider, including unusual needs, a party's other support obligations, "other household income," the parties' assets and liabilities, the standard of living, and, for spousal support or APL, the duration of the marriage to final separation (1910.16-5(b)). If the amount is adjusted, the trier-of-fact must state the guideline figure, the reason, the findings, the amount of the deviation and, for spousal support or APL, the duration (1910.16-5(a)(2)). The official comment adds that a deviation applies to the support amount or duration, not to a party's net income. Because these questions turn on the facts of each household, get advice on your own situation rather than rely on a general rule.

For APL and spousal support, the only bar written into the statute is a conviction for a personal injury crime against the other spouse, unless an order is needed to prevent manifest injustice (23 Pa.C.S. 3702(b)). Child support is calculated separately; see how child support is calculated.

What does the cohabitation bar say about alimony?

Section 3706 is short: "No petitioner is entitled to receive an award of alimony where the petitioner, subsequent to the divorce pursuant to which alimony is being sought, has entered into cohabitation with a person of the opposite sex who is not a member of the family of the petitioner within the degrees of consanguinity." Three points come straight from the text. It speaks of cohabitation, not dating. It refers to cohabitation after the divorce. And the statute does not define "cohabitation," so whether a living arrangement meets it is decided on the facts.

Separately, remarriage of the party receiving alimony terminates a court-ordered award (3701(e)), and the right to alimony ends on the recipient's death (3707). How long an award lasts, and how it can be modified, is covered in how long alimony lasts in Pennsylvania.

Agreed alimony works differently. If alimony is set in a written agreement, the court cannot modify it unless the agreement specifically allows it (3105(c)). A settlement can say what counts as cohabitation and what happens if the recipient lives with a new partner, so read those terms closely before signing. Agreements are discussed in whether a prenup or postnup is enforceable.

What changes the answer?

• When the relationship began. Before final separation it may be raised as marital misconduct for alimony; after it, not, except abuse (3701(b)(14)).
• Whether you live together and share expenses. Dating is not cohabitation under the text of 3706, and shared household income is a deviation factor for support and APL (1910.16-5(b)(3)).
• Whether the divorce is final. Section 3706 speaks of cohabitation after the divorce; before the decree, support and APL follow the guidelines.
• Whether marital money was spent on the relationship. Misconduct does not affect property division, but dissipation of marital property is a listed factor (3502(a)(7)), and the court may enjoin transfers made to defeat distribution (3505(a)). The factors are in how property is divided.
• Abuse. Abuse of one spouse by the other is considered for alimony even after separation (3701(b)(14)). Protection orders are covered on our protection from abuse page.
• An agreement. Its alimony terms control unless it allows modification (3105(c)).
• Children. For custody questions, see how Pennsylvania judges decide custody.

For example: a new partner while APL is pending

Here is a hypothetical. A couple in Media separate on February 1 after 19 years of marriage. In June, the lower-earning spouse begins dating someone, and in November that partner moves into the spouse's apartment and pays half the rent. The higher earner is paying APL under a guideline order and asks to reduce it.

Under the rules, the guideline amount stays presumptively correct. The higher earner may petition to modify by stating the material and substantial change relied on (Rule 1910.19(a)), and may argue that the partner's contribution is "other household income" warranting a deviation (1910.16-5(b)(3)); if the trier-of-fact deviates, it must give reasons and findings. At the alimony stage, the June relationship began after final separation, so as 3701(b)(14) is written it is not weighed as marital misconduct. If, after the decree, the recipient is cohabiting, 3706 may be raised as a bar to alimony. This example only illustrates the statute and rules; it does not predict any decision.

What mistakes do people make about dating during a divorce?

• Assuming dating ends support automatically. The guidelines set a presumptive amount; a new relationship is not listed as a bar.
• Assuming the cohabitation bar applies during the case. Section 3706 refers to cohabitation after the divorce.
• Leaving the separation date vague. It decides whether conduct is weighed for alimony (3701(b)(14)).
• Spending marital money on a new partner. Dissipation is a property factor (3502(a)(7)). The court's tools against it are described in what to do if your spouse hides money or assets.
• Signing a settlement without addressing cohabitation. Agreed alimony is not modifiable unless the agreement says so (3105(c)).
• Waiting to file a modification petition. Changes to court-ordered alimony apply only to payments after the petition (3701(e)).

What should I do this week?

1. Write down the date of final separation and gather records that show it.
2. Note when any new relationship began, and whether anyone now shares your household or expenses.
3. Keep marital and personal spending separate, with statements.
4. Read any agreement you have for alimony, cohabitation and modification terms.
5. If a support or APL order is in place, decide whether a change is material and substantial enough to petition.
6. Schedule a consultation before making a move that affects your household or your claims.

Frequently asked questions

Can I lose spousal support or APL just for dating?

The statute and guideline rules do not list dating as a bar. The guideline amount is presumed correct, and household changes may be raised through the deviation factors or a modification petition (Rules 1910.16-1(d), 1910.16-5(b) and 1910.19(a)).

Does my spouse's affair affect how property is divided?

No. Marital property is divided without regard to marital misconduct (3502(a)). Spending marital money on the affair is different, because dissipation is a listed factor (3502(a)(7)).

If I move in with a partner after the divorce, will I lose alimony?

As written, 3706 bars alimony to a petitioner who, after the divorce, has entered into cohabitation with a person of the opposite sex who is not a family member. If your alimony comes from an agreement, its terms control unless it allows modification (3105(c)).

Does remarriage end alimony?

Yes, for a court-ordered award: remarriage of the party receiving alimony terminates it (3701(e)). If your alimony was set by agreement, read what the agreement says about remarriage.

Does my new partner's income count as my income for support?

The guideline amount is based on the parties' combined monthly net income, meaning the two spouses in the case (Rule 1910.16-1(a)(1)). Other household income is a factor in deciding whether to deviate from the guideline amount (1910.16-5(b)(3)).

Can I change an existing order because my spouse moved in with someone?

A support order can be modified on a petition that states the material and substantial change relied on (Rule 1910.19(a)); see how to change a custody or support order.

Call Giribaldi Law at (610) 891-8303 or contact us online for a free consultation about alimony or support when a new relationship is involved. Evening and weekend appointments are available.